i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
