dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
