I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
