That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
