Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
