I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
