still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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