he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
