In the future we'll all be gay
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
her vagine was all disorganized.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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