***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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