what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize