Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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