I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
