i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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