I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
