His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
