We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
