He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
