I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
