Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
