dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
