physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
