Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
