Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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