My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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