she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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