no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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