i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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