Responsibility does not care about your dick.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
