Where is the hickey?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
