YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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