they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
