I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
