I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We don't watch enough power rangers
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
