she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
