mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Randomize
