i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We have so much sex to catch up on
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
