Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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