Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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