idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
