I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
