You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
