The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
