think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
