"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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