So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
