Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
