Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
