I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
