So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
