She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
