Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
