remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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